Aging—we’re all doing it. Some of us seem to age a little more gracefully than others. For the most part, the lifestyle that we will enjoy tomorrow is determined by the choices that we make today. Poor health not only limits tomorrow’s lifestyle choices, but can erode our financial freedom. In his presentation, Dr. Larsen will share five keys that enables him to not only live well, but “rock” well into his 60s and beyond. Thursday evening I will be sharing my tips for successful aging at Marlene’s Market and Deli in Federal Way, WA. The class is free and you can sign up here.
It seems only fitting that as we celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday that we should also pay gratitude this month for the millions of Americans who serve as caregivers. Most of us do not know that November is National Family Caregivers Month.
The Value of Care
For those for whom they provide care, these 90 million Americans are a life line. In dollar figures, these unsung heroes provide $450 billion worth of care, one of the largest segments of our health care system.
“This figure, accounts for a dollar value on every meal prepared, every call made to an insurance company and every time a caregiver helped an older adult bathe or dress, is nearly as much as the government spent on Medicare in 2009 and nearly four times what Medicaid itself paid for long-term care services. It’s an estimate that explains why caregivers are so overwhelmed and in dire need of support, says Lynn Feinberg, senior strategic policy adviser at the AARP Public Policy Institute.
“It’s difficult to find paid help to supplement the care family provides at home,” Feinberg says. “There’s a shortage of quality home care aides; with the economic downturn, people are having a harder time paying for the extra care; and public programs are shrinking — many states now have waiting lists.” AARP Public Policy Institute
“We have to recognize that in the United States, caregiving comes at a cost. We need to provide better support to families in their caregiving roles. Because otherwise, our whole long-term care and health care systems will almost collapse.” AARP Public Policy Institute.`
Significant findings include:
- People who take care of others are devoting nearly 20 hours per week on average to caregiving duties, often while still working a full-time job.
- Caregiving costs have increased 20 percent over the last estimate of $375 million two years ago.
- Caregivers provide 1.4 billion trips per year for older adults who no longer drive.
- Caregivers are using their own personal savings — or diverting money for their own health care needs — to help cover the $5,000 annual average out-of-pocket cost for caregiving.
- Caregivers are also leaving the workforce earlier than they would, losing an average of $115,900 in wages, $137,980 in Social Security benefits and $50,000 in pension benefits.
The Health Cost of Care
Many caregivers fail to consider their own health needs and are less likely to practice preventative health measures. The burden of caregiving can be physically demanding. Caregivers frequently report:
- sleep deprivation
- poor eating habits
- failure to exercise
- failure to stay in bed when ill
- postponement of or failure to make medical appointments
- higher incidence of alcohol abuse
- tobacco use
- use of drugs
Even though caregiving for a family member can be rewarding and demonstrates love and commitment, it often introduces added physical and emotion stress and can be burdensome financially.
Alarming studies have shown that clinical depression among family caregivers can be as high as 46-59 percent.
Poor self-care behaviors not only take an emotional toll, many times the physical manifestations can be life altering. Care giving as an increased risk chronic health conditions such as:
- high cholesterol
- heart disease
- high blood pressure
- back injuries
- diminished immune response
The majority of family caregivers have assume this role willing but approximately forty-four percent report that they did feel that they had a choice in taking on their caregiving responsibilities So while the rest of us are getting on with our lives these folks watch enviously from the sidelines. For the most part caregiving is a temporary situation over 31% of caregivers have been in their roles five years or longer.
Thanking the caregiver: a random act of kindness
As we end the month of Thanksgiving, let’s not forget to remember these 90 million caregivers, a force for good and compassion among us. Regrettably, 50% of caregivers report that they receive no unpaid help from friends or family. So why not make an effort to show appreciation for these unsung heroes by extending compassion and support with a random act of kindness.
Valerie Sobel recently suggested five in the Huffington Post:
- Send a card of appreciation or a bouquet of flowers to brighten up a family caregiver’s day.
- Help a caregiver decorate their home for the holidays or offer to address envelopes for their holiday cards.
- Offer comic relief! Purchase tickets to a local comedy club, give the caregiver your favorite funny movie to view, or provide them an amusing audio book to listen to while doing their caregiving activities.
- Offer to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for a caregiving family in your community, so that they can just relax and enjoy the holiday.
- Encourage local businesses to offer a free service from family caregivers through the month of November.
To that list I would add several of my own:
- Make a simple visit.
- Take the time to express you acknowledgement of their service.
- Take the family caroling to their home.
- When you see the caregiver and his loved one, make an effort to involve the loved one in the conversation.
- Pick up the tab when you see the caregiver and their loved one at a restaurant.
So make someone’s day! Not only will you make the caregivers day, but I guarantee that you will feel darn good yourself.
My caregiving journey has gone from a task that I was doing to a source of joy and fulfillment. Find out how you can change your caregiving experience by contacting me. Let me inspire you!
I love the quote by Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, the president of Liberia: “The size of your dreams must always exceed your current capacity to achieve them. If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” President Sirleaf is the classic example of someone who dares to dream big. She has been the president of Liberia since 2006, the first women elected as a head of state in Africa. Initially President Sirleaf’s life did not seem marked for this achievement. She married at the age of 17, had four children and divorced her abusive husband at age 23. After her divorce, President Sirleaf came to the United States and later, received a Master’s Degree from Harvard. Her life is an inspiration to dream big.
My own big dream began by chance in 2014. A patient came into the dental office where I work. When I asked him what he did for a living he told me that he was a guide for Rainier Mountaineering, Incorporated, (RMI). I was curious so I asked if climbing Mt. Rainier was something someone my age could do. I have lived in the shadow of Mt. Rainier for years, but I had never given serious consideration to the thought of climbing the mountain. Now my interest peaked. I tossed the idea around for a year and then in 2016, I decided to give it a try. I trained really hard. I had no experience in climbing and it had been years since I had done any serious hiking. The short story is that I did not accomplish my goal to reach the summit. But, I did come off the mountain energized, more determined than ever to live my dream.
So as 2017 rolled around, I began training for my second attempt to reach the summit of Mt. Rainier. I generally hit the gym five days a week. I started to train my legs not one day a week but three. By the beginning of summer, I was running at least 20 miles a week. I hiked almost every weekend in the Columbia River Gorge. A friend helped me complete the climb of Mt. Adams, the second highest peak in Washington. In August, I began intensively training for my Mt. Rainer climb. When August rolled around, I felt confident and ready to live my dream. But once again I fell short. Only this time, I came away from the experience feeling defeated and discouraged. I had invested the time and money only to walk away empty handed. But, did I?
Big dreams have their own rewards!
After further reflection upon my experience, I came away with a different perspective and a new appreciation for the experience. Seeking your dreams can be a little like going on vacation. Many times the anticipation is almost as much fun as the vacation itself. I, for one, love the discipline of preparing physically for a challenge.
While training is hard, in and of its self, it is a rewarding experience as you see the physical changes and increased fitness level. I realized that I had lived for almost 40 years only an hour’s drive from the Columbia Gorge, one of the world’s most amazing hiking area and had not hiked one time. Because I was training from Mt. Rainier, I hiked seven times in the gorge and saw countless vistas and waterfalls. The Larch Mountain hike, which begins at the base of Multnomah Falls at the historic Multnomah Lodge climbs 4,000 feet over 7 miles, passing several stunning waterfalls. The scenery in the Columbia River Gorge is spectacular. Years ago, I had attempted to climb Mt. Adams. This summer, in my training for the Mt. Rainier climb, I tried again and reached my goal. I had one of the best summers in my life, in spite of not seeing the summit of Mt. Rainier.
Recently, as I read about the devastation of the Eagle Creek Fire and its potential effects on the hiking trails in the Columbia River Gorge, I can’t help be feel especially grateful for the summer of ’17. I am reminded of the words of Lori Deschene, “Life can still be beautiful, meaningful, fun, and fulfilling even if things don’t turn out the way you planned.” Perhaps the lesson is that in the process of dreaming big, we will create rich and rewarding lives.
Do you want to help motivating your team to “dream big?” Contact me! “Let me inspire you!”
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw
I have found that taking a positive approach to life, as recommended by George Bernard Shaw, to be invaluable advice. Little did I know that when I turned 60, almost 10 years ago, jogging would become such an integral part of my life. It happen quite by chance, but jogging has turned out to be a positive part of who I am. Just this morning when I woke up, I could feel the cobwebs. I kind of had one of those “first thing in the morning” headaches. But I knew that all I had to do was put on my running shoes, grab my earbuds and phone, leash up my favorite running companion, Max, and in no time I would feel better. In reality I knew that I would be better than better. I would be feeling great! It has happened so many times that I have total faith in the principle.
Throughout my life, I have noticed that when I take a proactive approach with a positive attitude to life’s challenges, things just turn out better. That isn’t to say that there haven’t been a multitude of difficult challenges throughout my life, we all have them. Having a positive attitude doesn’t mean that we stick our heads in the sand and ignore the challenge. Having a positive attitude opens our minds to more possible solutions. A positive attitude also increases our confidence that a workable solution will be found.
Internet articles abound regarding the positive effect of a positive attitude. I recently found one by Laura Bauer in which she enumerates six benefits of a positive attitude. Among the positive benefits of positive thinking, she mentions greater resistance to the common cold, lower cholesterol, and increased resistance to cardiovascular disease. Although these three should be enough to prompt all of us to try to improve our attitudes, the remaining three were particularly interesting to me.
Increased life span.
In a recent Dutch study that appeared in the JAMA Psychiatry, it was found that those with a positive attitude were 55% less likely to die during the nine-year follow-up period.
Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress and depression.
George Patton, a professor of adolescent health research at the Murdoch Children’s Centre for Adolescent Health in Melbourne, noted in an article published in Pediatrics, found that optimistic kids do better in avoiding emotional and behavioral problems during their teens, even though they are not completely immune to setbacks.
The last benefit should get all of our attentions. The Canadian Medical Association Journal published a study that found that pessimistic adults, ages 60 and above, experienced increased problems and a decline in mobility while their happier counterparts were 80% less likely to experience similar declines.
My wife, Cindy is a testament to the power of positive thinking. When she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 43 years ago, treatment options were limited and she was told that she could expect to live 20 years or less. But Cindy has maintained a positive attitude. By doing so, she has out lived that prognosis by over 20 years. Does that mean that she has not face difficult challenges? No, the challenges have been numerous and difficult, but a positive attitude has enable us to find solutions and maintain a lifestyle that could be envied by more able-bodied individuals.
This morning as Max and I completed our run, I remembered the words of Groucho Marx. “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
Over the past 43 years of living with Cindy, I have learned to appreciate businesses that go the extra mile, creating an atmosphere that is “handicap welcoming, not just accessible.” Recently we went on vacation with Cindy’s siblings and their spouses. We were excited when we saw the pictures of the five star resort where we were staying. The ocean views were breathtaking. The accommodations were wrapped in luxury. Among the luxurious features were a large master suite taking in the spectacular view, a large master bath with a walk-in shower and Jacuzzi. The grounds were immaculately landscaped. Our excitement built as we drove through the resort. We anticipated what was sure to be a memorable stay. As we entered the condo, we saw that the view from the master bedroom was as spectacular as pictured on the website. You can imagine our disappointment as we walked through the condo to find that the master suite was not handicap accessible. The handicap accessible room, hardly a suite as it was probably half the size, was on the backside of the condo. Rather than an ocean view, it had a view of the parking lot that was mostly obscured by a large tree about three feet from the window.
We felt marginalized. Our initial excitement dissipated rapidly. Sure it’s nice to stay at a five star resort. But any moderately priced hotel could have produced the same result. It seems ironic that a resort that prides itself on their five star rating and ambiance would be so thoughtless. Yes, it met the requirements of the law by making fourteen of the several hundred units handicap accessible. But as a resort it certainly was not welcoming. Not only were the accommodations less than welcoming, the staff seemed happy to ignore us, except when they tried to sell us a membership in the vacation club.
Handicap “Welcoming” vs Handicap Accessible
Contrast that disappointing experience with the welcoming one that Cindy has every time she shops at Nordstrom. Years ago, I went with Cindy to buy a pair of shoes. After trying on several pairs, she made her selection. At the time Cindy was still walking with a walker and the pair of shoes that she was wearing were scuffed and needed to be polished. Before the sales assistant put her shoes back on, she took Cindy’s shoes and said, “I’ll be right back.” A few minutes later, she reappeared with Cindy’s shoes freshly polished. Another time, after trying on two different sizes of the same shoe, a sales assistant noted the Cindy’s right and left feet were slightly different sizes. The sales assistant split the pairs allowing Cindy to buy the correct size shoe for each foot. So, for years we have been loyal customers of Nordstrom because of their superior customer service, even the prices are a bit higher than their competitors. We always feel welcome at Nordstrom.
Not only do I shop at Nordstrom, I am happy to tell anyone who will listen why I shop at Nordstrom. I could be labeled as “raving fan.” I am also a raving fan of Whole Foods. And I can’t wait to tell you why. Lately smaller boutique grocery stores are gaining traction in the highly competitive grocery segment. Many of these smaller stores sell high end groceries and offer a wide range of organic groceries. Again, to create a competitive advantage and a recognizable brand, they offer exceptional customer service. Recently, I made a quick stop in Whole Foods to purchase a particular brand of Greek Yogurt only available at Whole Foods. As I passed the seafood counter, I noticed a special on crab cakes. After talking with the butcher, I decided to purchase several. As the butcher was packing them, he seemed to be paying particular attention to the price tag in the tray. After he wrapped them up he said, “I am going to give you these for free. The special ended a couple of days ago and we didn’t change the sign. So I am not going to charge you.” What?!?!? Typically the butcher would have said, “I am sorry these were on special. If you still want them, you will have to pay the regular price.” Or, he could have simply offered to sell them to me at the special price. But Whole Foods gave them to me. I always feel welcome when I shop at Whole Foods and will go out of my way to shop there.
So how do you create raving fans?
Mac Johnson the found of “Successories“, a company he created due to his fascination with motivational quotes, explains in business terms the importance of raving fans. “The only way to build a good company is one satisfied customer at a time. However, to build a great company one must add one raving fan at a time. The difference is this…a satisfied customer will come back, but a raving fan not only comes back, but becomes part of your sales team. There is a big difference.”
This point is emphasized by Ken Blanchard, one of the coauthors of Raving Fans. “Your customers are only satisfied because their expectations are so low and because no one else is doing better. Just having satisfied customers isn’t good enough anymore. If you really want a booming business, you have to create Raving Fans.”
In their book Raving Fans, Blanchard and coauthor Sheldon Bowles, describe how to create raging fans.
- Decide what you want.
- Discover what the customer wants.
- Deliver what the customer wants: deliver the vision plus one percent.
The difference between “handicap welcoming, not just accessible” is “the plus one percent” referred to by Blanchard and Bowles. For me, it is a simple as having empathy and following the good old Golden Rule: treat other as you would like to be treated. Delivering “the vision plus one” starts at the top. If you want to create a more welcoming customer experience and some raving fans, contact me, Dr. Brad Larsen. “Let me inspire you!”
In April of 2008 I achieved an unexpected milestone in my life when I received my MBA from George Fox University. Two years prior when I enrolled my friends and colleagues thought that I had lost my mind. What in the world did I expect to gain from getting an MBA at that late stage of my life? Enrolling in a graduate degree program turned out to be a great way to transition into this phase of my life. As it turned out I not only received a stellar educational experience but I also felt rejuvenated by the process. I was in the company of students half my age at the beginning of their careers as I was transition out of my first career. My perspectives though different were always welcome and respected. As it turned out I was richly rewarded by following my own advice, make the choice, cross the wake, live your dreams!
The faculty and staff at George Fox typify the description of excellence that I found very early in my dental career that impacted me throughout my practice as I pursued “excellence” in my delivery of patient care and managed my business. How fortunate I was to have found O’Connor early in my career.
“Pursuit of excellence is an attitude…it involves wisdom and sound judgment…it is a lifetime, career-long commitment…it is a way of life…it is doing the job right the first time, every time. It is inner-directed, not the result of external pressure, it is our own self-worth – who we are and the pride and satisfaction that comes from being the right kind of person, not just in doing the right things.” James J. O’Connor
Let me help your group make the choice, cross the wake and live their dreams.
In 2008 I celebrated Father’s Day by attending the convocation ceremonies at the University of Chicago Graduate Business School. My son received his MBA. The faculty speaker at the ceremony was Steven Neil Kaplan, Neubauer Family Professor of Entrepreneurship and Finance.
Dr. Kaplan’s research previously has focused on private equity and entrepreneurial finance, corporate governance and finance and mergers and acquisitions. Recently he studied personality traits of CEO that produced the most significant results for their companies.
Previous studies by authors such as Jim Collins (Good to Great and Built to Last) have found character traits that have been universal in good leaders. Character traits such as humility, team players, good listeners and the ability of hire the “right” people, are essentail in transforming companies. Coolins also found that even with these traits some leaders did not achieve the same results.
PEP (Proactive, Efficient & Persistent)
Dr. Kaplan’s research revealed three additional traits that seemed to be pivotal producing success. These character traits are proactive, efficient and persistent, “PEP.” Dr. Kaplan’s research confirmed that these three characteristics were universal in leaders who were able to make a difference. Dr. Kaplan encouraged the graduates to approach their business careers with “PEP.”
As I listened to Dr. Kaplan, I had to agree. In my own personal journey, I find that when I am proactive (Make the choice, Cross the wake, Live your dreams!) in approaching a challenge, attack it in an efficient manner and follow through with persistence to the end, my results are stellar but when I sit back and wait, fail to get to the heart of the matter efficiently or acquiesce to the pressure of those around me, my result are less than adequate. My most remarkable successes have been directly related to my level of “PEP.” To get a little more “PEP” in your group give me a call.
Leadership can be a lonely road. Many times we get discouraged when the results aren’t as timely or notable as we had hoped. But most of us will be remember for how we ran not for winning the race. True leaders continue to run long after less dedicated runner fade and quit. And many times the winner of the race will not necessarily be the one who crosses the finish line first.
I recall one such winner from the Mexico City Olympic Summer Games of 1968. Out of the cold darkness he came. John Stephen Akhwari of Tanzania entered at the far end of the stadium, pain hobbling his every step, his leg bloody and bandaged. The winner of the marathon had been declared over an hour earlier. Only a few spectators remained. But the lone runner pressed on.
While competing in the marathon in Mexico City, Akhwari cramped up due to the high altitude of the city. He had not trained at such an altitude back in his country. At the 19 kilometer point during the 42 km race, there was jockeying for position between some runners and he was hit. He fell badly wounding his knee and dislocated that joint plus his shoulder hit hard against the pavement. He however continued running,
He finishing last among the 57 competitors who completed the race (75 had started). The winner of the marathon, Mamo Wolde of Ethiopia, finished in 2:20:26. Akhwari finished in 3:25:27. When he entered the stadium only a few thousand people remained. A television crew was sent out from the medal ceremony when word was received that there was one more runner about to finish.
As he crossed the finish line, the small crowd roared out its appreciation. Afterward, a reporter asked the runner why he had not retired from the race, since he had no chance of winning. He seemed confused by the question. Finally, he answered: “My country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race. They sent me to finish.”
Winning the race…………..
In my mind Akhawri is a winner. Many times winning doesn’t mean crossing the finish line first by having the tenacity to finish in spite of seemingly insurmountable odds. Winning at the leadership challenge is never easy. While the end results of our leadership challenges may seem unremarkable there is a certain satisfaction that comes from completing plans. Little did that lonely run ever envision that forty years later his story would be retold. So it is with our efforts. We cannot know what long term effects they will have on those around us. Let me inspire your team at your next staff meeting or conference.
Keys are wonderful tools. We use them daily to unlock doors, start cars and figuratively speaking, to unlock opportunities.
Several years ago while vacationing in Orlando, I was returning to the condo after running some errands. I had several items that I needed to take back to the room. Rather than make two trips, I grabbed them all. My hands were full. I still had the rental car keys and key fob in my hands as I juggled my cargo. I boarded the elevator and as I went to push the button, I dropped the keys. I watched in horror as the keys tumbled end over end, landing four feet below at the bottom of the elevator shaft! Have you ever had one of those “This can’t be happening to me!” moments? This was mine!
The next day was spent not vacationing, but waiting for the elevator company to retrieve the keys. I was reminded of my mistake and lack of judgement every time I used the elevator that day. There at the bottom of the shaft lay my keys, taunting me.
Over the years when I reflect upon this experience, I am reminded of the usefulness of keys. The fact is that if we don’t or can’t use our keys, they are of little value. Many times we fail to take our keys out of our pocket and simply put it in the lock. Other times we have dropped our keys down the elevator shaft and they are unavailable for use. When I speak, my goal is to inspire the audience to use their keys to unlock the vast opportunities that lie ahead of all of us. Let me inspire you to use your keys.
Time to pick up the pen and start blogging. Check out my previous efforts.